Valerie Bertinelli on Breakups and Dating at 65 : ‘I Love Men but I Don’t Want Them to Make Me Crazy' (Exclusive)

Liz McNeilThu, March 5, 2026 at 3:00 PM UTC

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Valerie Bertinelli tells PEOPLE that she is not "ruling out" dating in the future

The star, 65, says she "learned a lot" after the 2024 breakup with writer Mike Goodnough and adds, "If I ever start dating again, I ain’t talking about it for a long time. I got to see if it works out first."

She describes a fun moment when her "pilot light" was lit by Metallica’s James Hetfield on stage.

Ask Valerie Bertinelli about single life and she says it's something she talks about often with Drew Barrymore.

"We’re very happy being single," she says of the talk show host. (Bertinelli is a lifestyle expert as part of the "Drew Crew" on the Drew Barrymore Show.) "I haven’t been with that many people. I haven't gone on a lot of dates either. I want calm. I don’t want butterflies."

"Now my therapist says, ‘You just had a bad experience with butterflies last time out so why don’t you just wait and see what happens,’" she explains of learning to slow down. "I have to know they’re butterflies and not anxiety…I have to learn to differentiate.”

It’s a topic she explores in her new book, Getting Naked, which she calls her "most vulnerable book yet." For the first time, the star, 65. reveals that she was sexually abused at eleven years old and she writes movingly about letting go of shame related to trauma.

Valerie Bertinelli on the 'Drew Barrymore Show'Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean

2024 was a year of challenges, she notes. “I had four surgeries within six months, [I had breast implants taken out and there were complications.] My hair started to fall out. I was having emotional trouble with people in my life and I just wasn’t happy. [After] two divorces, I felt like failure. I got fired from a job I really loved. Before that my parents died. My son’s father [Eddie Van Halen] died. I just thought 'I must really have to learn something.'"

That's what she says about the end of her relationship with writer Mike Goodnough, whom she dated in 2024. “Here’s the thing about big loud mistakes, I was given the opportunity to learn a really deep life changing lesson and that is what I’m grateful for. Oh god, did I learn a lot. And if I ever start dating again, I ain’t talking about it for a long time. I got to see if it works out first."

“That’s my future right there,” Bertinelli says, pointing to felines Henry and Batman and her 14 year old rescue dog Luna.

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As for dating, she says, “I’m not ruling it out. There’s so many great men out there. I love men but I don’t want them to make me crazy and I don’t want to make them crazy.”

Still. Bertinelli's new book describes a funny moment where she jokes that she had her “pilot light” lit by Metallica’s James Hetfield on stage and says with a laugh, “Oh my god it was so nice to know that I’m not dead inside. After my second divorce [from Tom Vitale in 2022] I was like 'I’m going to be a cat lady and I'm fine with that.' I love going on the road watching my son [guitarist Wolfgang Van Halen.] I want to be a grandma someday – and I’m fine with that but when I got my little pilot light lit by watching someone on stage be magnetic, I was like 'Wait, did I just say someone was hot?'”

Valerie Bertinelli photographed for PEOPLE on February 16, 2026.Credit: Andrew Eccles

She continues: “You could put Brad Pitt in front of me and I’d be like, ‘No thanks’ and Brad Pitt is hot. No guy was doing it for me." Pointing out that Hetfield is married, she says, "Even though I don’t want to date this person, I liked that I found somebody attractive because it meant I wasn’t dead inside. Love when it’s right can be magical. And one day, I might get that. But I also have to be okay with not getting it."

With the new launch of Valerie's Place, her digital platform, she's happy for what's ahead, romantic love aside. “I love my life right now. Every time I think I want to share with with a man I’m like but do I?"

'Love, Again' starring Valerie, Henry Czerny and Eric McCormackCredit: Lifetime.

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Getting Naked by Valerie Bertinelli comes out March 10 and is available for preorder now, wherever books are sold.

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Source: “AOL Entertainment”